Some Scars can heal
by Hatton
Summary: Simba has returned to the Pridelands, taken his place as king; but what of Scar. What really happened to the aged prince? A songfic because I can p


**AN: Scar and all other TLK characters, and places mentioned in the following piece of fiction (unfortunately) belong to Disney. The song is 'who I am hates who I've been' and it belongs to Reliant K. Enjoy n.n**

The dark lion twitched his tail, his deep green eyes were filled with sadness as he watched the lioness he had loved limp away from the Pride Lands. In her jaws she held his successor, a cub he had no claim over. Between the fair coated female's paws was his son. The awkward cub lumbered after her tripping over himself as he went, a confused expression on his small face as he tried desperately to understand the situation. Searching with that heavy sadness the dark lion spotted his second child, a female. She had a wild fringe and even at her age he could tell she had talent and would be far more beautiful than any child his nephew could produce.

Into the sunrise the female strode, flanked by the misguided lioness' who held faith in him. Even after his defeat. There was a coldness to the air now, something rarely felt across the savannah. It was something the dark lion understood as guilt and sorrow. He felt both. The knowledge of his actions weighed heavily on his heart and the lion lowered his head, his usually well kept mane hung over his eyes as tears trailed down his cheeks.

_I watched the proverbial sunrise  
Coming up over the Pacific  
And you might think I'm losing my mind  
But I will shy away from the specifics_

"Brother?" His voice sounded alien as he looked skyward, eyes blurred with tears. "It has been too long since I felt such sorrow. Since I felt anything." His heart thudded in his chest as if it were trying to escape him, and he wouldn't blame it if it did. As if he expected an answer the lion waited and shook his head, disappointment raining down on him. "I thought that there was nothing left for me. That to be king would complete me somehow. I was wrong." His mind was filled with anguished thoughts; there was no hatred there anymore. The space between his ears was cramped with memories; he was searching his mind for reasons, solid as the ground he sat upon. Instead he found friendship and so many desperate attempts to pull him back, how could he be so blind.

Looking at the handful of loyal followers who still believed in his ways he sighed, it was a heavy, pained sigh. It tore at his bruised ribs and made the aged feline cough and choke, his pain went unnoticed. He supposed it was as much as he deserved. "They don't deserve to suffer for me." The lion's statement hung in the air like a dead weight, his eyes once again staring hopefully at the sky. Empty now of stars he wondered if his brother could even hear him. Standing up he wobbled slightly regaining the use of the three limbs and raising the gnarled fourth leg to his chest. An awkward limp took him over as he began the shameful walk from Pride rock, his tired, bloody paws carried him with disdain as though they too wanted rid of him.

_Cause I don't want you to know where I am  
Cause then you'll see my heart  
In the saddest state it's ever been  
This is no place to try and live my life_

The old lion stumbled only once as he headed toward the barren waste land, known only as the Outlands. His eyes never left the band of outcasts, the rebels who held strong to his tyrannical beliefs. Finding a place to rest the lion watched his family settle for the night; he could see the desperation in his mate's eyes as she pulled her three cubs close and whispered gentle lies into their ears. Surrounding her was her guard - seven powerful lionesses' who had stood beside him in the final hours when he had still held the throne. A throne that was never his to begin with.

.:.

_They were adolescents, the two brothers. One dark as night the other bright like the day, together they would cause havoc. A mischievous pair always searching for trouble, and with that desperate hunt the two had become known to all much to their father's amusement. In the Pride lands there were none closer than these two, not a cub in the world could have loved a sibling more. They were inseparable. Even with the knowledge that one day one of them would be chosen over the other. They had discussed it, decided that they would stay together and rule as one. The darker brother was clever, even cunning while his brother was powerful yet gentle, filled with the wisdom that only an older brother can carry, even if you are twins._

_One morning - and the Dark male would never forget this morning - it was raining. The droplets were heavy and should you run in it you would have been blinded, this made hunting difficult and while the lioness talked over their tactics the King searched for his sons. It was now or never. One would be heart broken today and Ahadi had long since decided which it would be. Finding the brothers racing through the rain and wrestling in the quickly forming mud he chuckled to himself, such innocence radiated from the boys. His boys. "Mufasa, Taka, I need to speak with you." The lion's voice was powerful and it carried easily over the roar of the rain._

"_What is it?" Mufasa, the older of the twins. Fair in colour and gentle in nature he was always first and most eager to answer their father's calls._

"_We were playing." Taka, dark as the night sky and filled with rebellion was the smaller of the twins, his green eyes mirrored their mothers and his slender frame made his bid for kingship that much more difficult._

"_I've come to give you great news my sons. I have chosen a successor." The princes studied their father, a feeling of joy and apprehension gripped them both. What would happen now?_

"_And what have you decided father?" Mufasa, ever bold in his questions but never rude. Taka tapped his paw on the muddy ground and raised a brow at his father, Mufasa's question hung in the damp air._

"_Taka, for many reasons I would wish kingship upon you my son. You have a large heart and desire to please everyone, a great intelligence runs through your veins but beside that runs darkness. Overpowering and dangerous, a darkness I can not allow to rule over these lands." The dark manned prince felt his heart sink, his blood raged through his body and tears burned his eyes._ "_As such Mufasa, for your wisdom and courage, your unwavering love for all that is around you. I name you my heir." Mufasa shrunk back at his father's words and looked to his brother for reassurance, that it was true that Mufasa was to be king. In his brother's eyes he saw nothing but anger and it hurt as though the anger were his own._

"_Taka…" Mufasa spoke quietly as their father - oblivious to what he had done - sauntered back to Pride Rock._

"_No." His twin answered with a roar of rage, slapping the large golden paw away before it could rest on his shoulders. "Not Taka… Taka's dead." His eyes burned with such pain Mufasa thought it might materialise, that perhaps the pain could manifest itself and that two Takas may stand before him in the rain. "It's Scar now. Only Scar."_

__

Stop right there!  
That's exactly where I lost it  
See that line?  
Well, I never should've crossed it  
Stop right there!  
Well, I never should've said that  
It's the very moment that I wish that I could take back  


The memories burned him, like the fire that had consumed the lands upon the true king's return. It hurt him to know that even the land had wanted Simba, Mufasa's spawn above him. In his veins ran the blood of a Prince, but never would the blood of a king flow within him. He had been weak and stupid, had fallen under the weight of his emotion and he had let the thing his father warned him of control him. In his two year reign the male had bought about everything Ahadi had feared and in his eternal silence Scar wondered if his father hated him.

"Mufasa." His voice carried gently through the early morning air, "What have I done?" The small flock of felines licked at their wounds and talked of their plans, how would they regain the land they had lost and how they would train such a small creature to be as good a king as the adopted father who had chosen him. Scar dug his claws into the ground and for the first time in years he hated himself. There was a voice, gentle and reassuring somewhere in the back of his mind. "_You're ten times the king Mufasa could ever be, don't you ever forget it Taka._" His own voice roared at the tiny intruder, booming in his mind. "_SCAR! I'm SCAR! Taka was weak, Taka is dead!_" The old lion shook his head his mane swaying wildly as he disagreed with himself, with the stupid rebellious cub he had once been.

_  
I'm sorry for the person I became  
I'm sorry that it took so long for me to change  
I'm ready to be sure I never become that way again  
Cause who I am hates who I've been  
Who I am hates who I've been  
_

"Nuka, my son, I wanted so much for you to be the King I could not be. I wanted you to achieve so much." His expression softened at the young cub, nearing adolescence. He was a mirror of his father, down to the slender frame and tufty beard. "You were born with such promise there was no inclination to how you would grow but hope gripped me. Secretly I wanted you to be like my brother, strong and wilful instead you were frightened and nervous. Desperate to please but never able to lead and so I shunned you. I pushed you away until all you had was your tiny newborn sister." His eyes moved on to the small form that was his daughter. "Vitani, beautiful Vitani. I wonder if you will remember me as a good father or if all you will know is the pain I thrust on others." He swallowed and almost choked on his despair, "Will you be able to forgive me when you realise that your cause is a lie? That you aren't a princess, nor have you ever been."

A rumble of anger came from the pit of his stomach and the prince howled in to the early morning breeze, a howl of both pain and misery. "Kovu, Kovu my heir. A child that my beautiful mate discovered, lonely and starving. You were my chance for a powerful heir and I believed then that I was supposed to be in power, but when he returned and I was shunned from the throne. I felt that same hatred as I had when father had chosen Mufasa over me; I knew then that you would have a hard life. I felt a kinship, a bond." His body shook violently and he gagged, leaning his frame against an old Acacia the prince closed his tired eyes.

.:.

"_Taka?" Uru's voice carried over the crowd of lionesses worry evident on her beautiful face. "Taka? Where is my son?" She stepped round the fallen wildebeest, leapt the broken logs from the old Acacia tree and slowed her steps as she came to stand beside the aged Sharman Rafiki. The mandrill looked over at his Queen and shook his head, it was not good. Her gaze wandered to the place he had been staring and yet she could still not pin point her cub, all she could see was Mufasa and a lump of dirt and blood. The mound convulsed and a choked sob escaped it, the Queen's heart skipped a beat and she slowly padded forward. "Taka?"_

_The red manned cub looked up at his mother and then down at the form of his shaking brother. "He'll be okay mum, won't he?" The female pulled her oldest son toward her and licked his head, what could she say? The cub was dying before their eyes. The King stood solemnly beside the wildebeest carcass, his brown eyes filled with sorrow._

"_I can save him, if you so wish your Majesty." A wavering voice came from the left of the mandrill where a lioness stood with her young cub. "I can heal his wound, but it will scar." She looked saddened by that thought and stepped toward the cub, not waiting for the king to give her permission. It must be done now or he would surely die. What she did no-one could be sure. Her eyes glazed for a brief moment before she called out to her cub, "Zira bring me those herbs." The tiny female dragged the bundle toward her mother, her heart beating furiously as she prayed to the kings that the older cub would live. Pulling away the strange lioness smiled at her king. "He'll be fine." Her expression then grew pained as she studied Mufasa, who was licking furiously at the wound and whispering his apology over and over into ears that would never hear him. "Young Prince. It isn't the scars on his body that you must cleanse; but the one's in his heart."  
_

.:.

Scar would never forget that memory, for it was the beginning of the monster he became. The accident, attack whatever you want to call it made him a loner. The only cub he would play with or talk to was Mufasa. It was a time of darkness for the cub - while the rest of the world went on he could not escape the nightmares and fear, he was trapped by the harshness of his brother's words. Mufasa had called him a coward and that in turn had driven him so close to death he had tasted it, for this he had made his brother pay with his life.

_  
I talked to absolutely no one  
Couldn't keep to myself enough  
And the things bottled inside  
Had finally begun to create so much pressure  
That I'd soon blow up  
_

"I ruined everything. All I wanted was to be like Mufasa, to be the son you wanted me to be. I was tired of being weak and second best, I wanted to be just like my brother. For you to look at me with the same pride you did him, I was bitter that mother always treated me like a baby. I could never do the things Mufasa did, I could never be as brave as Mufasa, and you knew it. Yet you compared us relentlessly." The lion felt a pang of regret and opened his eyes, his small pride was gathering itself to move on. They were close to the boarder now and there was no doubt the new King would send out a patrol. "I told myself I would never be the same; I would never pit brother against brother. Now I have shunned my own son and replaced him with another. I did what I swore I wouldn't and he will never know that he was always my first choice, that Kovu was a reserve, second best. I've failed him."

_And I heard the reverberating footsteps  
Syncing up to the beating of my heart  
And I was positive that unless  
I got myself together  
I would watch me fall apart  
And I can't let that happen again  
Cause then you'll see my heart  
In the saddest day it's ever been  
This is no place to try and live my life  
_

"Scar, sire." The old lion turned his head and gazed up at the pregnant young lioness.

"I'm no king." He sighed turning away and licking at his injured paw. How could he speak with his father now that she was here.

"You're our king." She gestured to the bulge in her stomach and the wounded male at her side. "We would die for you." As if to reassure him the male laid down beside him and licked the injuries left by the ravenous hyena pack.

"The ones I couldn't catch fled. I doubt we'll see them again." He smiled weakly and nuzzled the old lion whose dark manned faded in places to a tired grey.

"Thank you Mheetu. I'm grateful." His grey eyes closed once more and his breath grew laboured. "I want you to promise me, the cub you carry; he will not bear any grudges. Simba was your friend and so he should be remembered by your young as such. When he grows send him here to give Simba my apologies and wish my nephew's cubs well."

Mheetu stood and moved to his mate's side, it had been a wonder that Mheetu was allowed to stay in the pride while Chumvi and Tojo had been banished. Perhaps one day he would find them both and they would return together to pride rock, until that day came though he would keep his promise to the old king and raise this cub to know the truth. He would tell his son, or daughter that there was a great and powerful king who was murdered by his brother, not because of hatred toward the brother but because of hatred toward the father.

_I'm sorry for (Sorry for) the person I became  
I'm sorry that (Sorry that) it took so long for me to change  
I'm ready to (Ready to) be sure I never become that way again  
Cause who I am hates who I've been  
Who I am hates who I've been…_


End file.
